To this day, I don’t know how I managed to survive 4 months without my son being with me. As a hands on mom who is actively involved in my son’s life, it was such a hard decision and transition to say the least. My prayers were answered, God protected him and now we are reunited temporarily for the holidays.
If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you are fully aware that I accepted a job offer in Uganda and that my son stayed behind with his father. If you didn’t catch that memo, read all about it here.
I won’t lament over lost times; Instead, I will appreciate the moments I do have and make every attempt to enjoy our union. You better believe that a mother and son’s bond is truly unbreakable!
I SURPRISED CHRISTION AT SCHOOL!
Christion knew I was coming home, however, he didn’t know the exact time or date. So, I decided to surprise him at school.
How did I POSSIBLY get away with the surprise???
Coordination. I contacted the school that morning to inform them of my goal of surprising him. They were more than understanding and willing to accommodate me as much as possible. They even went as far as letting me know his class schedule. His teacher, the secretary, a few other teachers, my mom and his dad all contributed to the successful surprise! Shhhhhh!!!
He was totally surprised. I, on the other hand, was full of nerves, excitement and thankfulness that this moment was finally coming into fruition. I know I may sound dramatic but this is my child so I have every right to feel the way I do!
During my quiet times, when the world stood still for a minute and when the thoughts of separation hit me like a ton of bricks, I continued to send prayers, positive affirmations and my motherly love…from a distance.
All I can do is remember the purpose of this overall picture and remind myself of the reasons why I decided to leave him with his father afterall. I can’t deny the feelings of guilt that strike me daily. I think it’s natural. I knew that being in Chicago wasn’t where I wanted to be at this time and that the job opportunity abroad was a good option. Christion says he wants to join me next year in Uganda…we shall see. I just want the best for him and being apart for so long isn’t good for either of us. I can’t be apart anymore after this so whatever is in his favor, I’m there regardless of a job opportunity. (Lessons learned).
This is not in vain…there is a purpose behind the panic!
Christion has a good father who was willing to start the rebuilding process of their relationship. I needed Christion to see and experience this. Many of our black children, especially boys, don’t have this opportunity or know their fathers at all. It’s unfortunate and I wish there was more that could be done to end this vicious cycle.
I credit some of this non-sense going on in our communities to the lack of fathers’ roles in the household. Single moms: We can’t do it alone. If the father is around or is at least making a partial effort, open your heart and ask God to guide you in the best way possible for your situation. They both need each other!
I personally wanted to take advantage of allowing my son to build a healthy and productive relationship with his dad and to see a different side of parenting.
Yes, it was a huge sacrifice for me, however, I know that he is well taken care of, and learning more of the essentials of becoming a well-rounded man while connecting with family more often than when we lived overseas.
I know that God has a purpose behind all of this. I am learning to trust IN HIM each day. This distance is a true test of my faith and endurance. The distance is teaching me a lot about love, appreciation, faith, trust and family values. I love my son more than words can say. Ahh…all is well with my soul to know that he is happy, healthy, peaceful and full of joy and merriment, especially during this season.
In the meantime, I will enjoy every moment with him. During this temporary holiday time, we will laugh, play, go, watch, create, wonder, see and be.
GOD CREATED THIS MOMENT SO I WILL ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!
BEFORE YOU GO, CHRISTION AND I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A VERY SPECIAL HOLIDAY GREETING! ( I’m sure this will make you laugh)!
Have a blessed one and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to follow my journey!