The last week of school…ahhhh. What can I say… I made it. I know, I can give you the infamous woe is me speech but I won’t. Initially, I doubted my capability to handle the transition, primarily from an emotional perspective since I knew that my son wouldn’t be joining me this year.
I tell you…I wanted to quit on multiple occasions.
This time last year, I contemplated whether or not I was even coming to Uganda. I fought my emotions and fear was pulling me in its deceptive direction. I was worse than a puppy chasing its tail. I wanted to ….but….Nah….what if….and if this and that…#iwasamess.
I called myself crazy and doubted my dreams, purpose and ambitions. I had plenty of nights filled with anxiety because of the distance between my son all while trying to make sense out of my decision which was initially filled with guilt. I faced ridicule. “How could you leave your son? I could never do that!” I heard it all.
However, when I look back over the year, I can openly say those 3 words that define where I stand today: I made it. I made it through self-doubt, fear, opposition, confusion, loneliness, lack of community and guilt. I somehow navigated my way through a new school, new environment, culture, curriculum and city. I became more involved than ever, found out things about myself that I didn’t know existed such as my passion for racial justice and social equality, the sweetness of Ugandan mangoes (I know, how random) and the total disregard for the word muzungu…oh, and the beauty of Uganda. This is such a gorgeous country so if you have the opportunity to visit, I highly recommend it. And…last but definitely not least, I started a new relationship.
I beat the odds as the new black girl from the states in a predominately white British staffed school. You know, challenges are inevitable. My challenges have pushed me to another level of understanding in relation to self, people and ideas.
Today, I said a speech about my classroom for their awards day assembly. It symbolized all of their academic accomplishments for the entire year.
It felt great to compliment them and say such honorable words of acknowledgement. However, sometimes, we have to speak those same words of affirmation over our own lives as a continuous self-reflection despite our adversity. It signifies the recognition of self-love which has an amazing healing power. Self motivation, love and respect. Practice it daily.
It’s been an emotionally taxing year for me and I’m ready for the next season in my life and ready to rebuild my relationship with my son.
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of messages from followers, random people, etc who share that they are somehow motivated by my madness, my story, travels, single parenting defeats, etc. First off, I am so grateful for those who have taken time to read my blog. I’m also thankful that I’ve mustered up the courage to be transparent in a way to share my story, testimony and experiences. I’m usually completely private. I prayed about this blog though, way back when and months before I even started it and it was as if the Lord kept prompting me so I knew it was time.
I told myself to just do it, no matter what it looked like…there is a purpose. Even if one life is touched by my story, testimonies or experiences, this is perfectly fine. God has a purpose in his plan.
Therefore, if you are still contemplating a move overseas or another major decision, just go for it. Don’t quit! Don’t let fear or your past circumstances manipulate the future and God’ favor for your life. Just go for the gusto and do the extraordinary. For instance, if your extraordinary is living abroad, make it your business to find resources that will help you accomplish this goal. You will surprise yourself as well as have the opportunity to enlighten many lives because of your boldness, courage and fearless approach to destiny. Don’t allow yourself to stay entrapped inside the mental, physical and emotional traps that you continuously subject yourself to.
You got this. Go for it. Kick fear, travel often, dream big and believe in the impossible.
( I know it sounds cliché but you get the point, right?)
Until next time, be blessed and highly favored!
Ms. Black Expat 
Kristen! Thank you for sharing pieces of your journey through blogging! You journey is so inspiring to me, because, I plan to live and travel abroad! Fear has gripped me in the past, but I’ve been making strides in the right direction now. Very radical strides. None the less strides!
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Ashley! Girl thank you for this!
I must say, I am so proud of you. Every time I see a post, I say God is favoring that girl! Fear is so devastating because it takes away the very desires of our hearts. It makes us feel like things are impossible. I’m telling you, the thing that brings you the most fear and hesitation, especially those thoughts that you keep dwelling on, are more than likely apart of God’s purpose and plan for your life. The enemy is busy…so don’t give him a foothold.
I was so fearful about coming to Uganda to the point it made me sick. I fought that fear with everything that I had and trusted that God had my back. Ashley, not only did he have my back but he gave me more ammunition through opportunities, experience and self discovery. I’m telling you…go for it…what ever that “it” may be.
Don’t allow fear to control your destiny! (repeat, repeat, repeat)
I miss you, sis! Keep in touch and thank you for supporting and promoting this blog!
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Congrats! I am so proud and even more motivated by your journey! I still plan to be there in January and due to your willingness to share and candidness about realities of teaching in Uganda, I feel more and more aware and excited to take the step. I am glad that you plan to bring your son with you (no judgement) that blog post (about your reasons for doing so) also inspired me to convince my Husband that we need to prepare to move our family overseas in the near future. We are an African American Muslim family so we are looking at the UAE, Saudi or Kuwait. But in the mean time ,I can’t wait to get my feet wet (experience wise) in Uganda.
Once again Congratulations! And keep the posts coming, they are truly appreciated!
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I am so excited for you as well and this new step you are taking with your family. You won’t regret all of the reasons behind why you are doing this and how it will benefit your career later.
I think that it is a great idea that you are taking a short stint in Uganda. Even though Uganda may not be your desired place to call home overseas, at least it will give you a chance to experience a slice of life on the “other side” of the pond, if you will. I also want to say that there are quite a few African-American, Muslim families in the UAE. They love it and it conforms to their standards of living. I appreciate the UAE on so many fronts because it caused me to humble myself and taught me a lot about modesty, especially in the way that I dress. That was so empowering for me, especially coming from an African-American culture which is heavily influenced by main stream media. The UAE really helped me to see the importance of covering myself and how the beauty in that is powerful! God bless you, my sister. I appreciate your response. Keep commenting and asking. If you have anything that you would like to know in particular, please feel free to share.
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